The opinions of this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of The Paranormal Research Society.

Introduction: Over one year ago, I wrote the editorial, “Whom Shall I Send?” which can be found by visiting here.  The following is a continuation.

-----------------

My journey in to demonic territory began three years ago with a case involving very real people who have asked to remain completely anonymous.  At some point, I took on another case that involved an eastern Catholic diocese.  The clients had asked us in at the advice of a mystic priest.  I jumped at the chance.  The details around the case sounded unbelievable.  I wanted to witness it for myself and try to help the family and Church resolve the situation.  I got involved in a very serious, psychotic and out-of-control case that I’m not sure I was ready for.  I did everything I could to hold my teammates together, but it wasn’t enough to stop the damage that now seems was inevitable.  Several people who were involved with that case have been affected simply because they were a part of it.  In short, we changed.

I changed because, at that point, I had it confirmed that the realm of the demonic exists. I won’t lie to you; it was a very frightening thing for a 22-year-old college senior to find out.  Shortly after resolving our part with that case, several terrible things happened to my team and I.

Months after these respective cases, I found myself still partially immersed in Catholic demonology.  I was regularly consulting with priests/exorcists involving other cases.  Some didn’t even know my age.  They simply knew me by name and the fact that I worked on another case.

Some of the priests and I came to an understanding about things.  Others were, well, harsh and condemning about my whole involvement in Catholic demonology.  I myself became increasingly aware that I didn’t want to be a demonologist.  But I couldn’t shake my involvement from demonic cases.  More and more claims of demonic activity began to gravitate towards me.  I’ve knocked on the doors of many Catholic dioceses within the northeast.  Some have been positive and others haven’t.  What greatly discouraged me was their lack of tolerance and interest in working with haunted families who didn’t have anywhere else to turn to.

And so I continued to help those involved with demonic activity.  Some of the cases turned out, I believe, to not have demonic elements.  Others were suspect and I did everything I could to get religious clergy involved.

As I wrote earlier, the entire process discouraged me.  I was fighting with some of the people I was supposed to be working with.  There came a point where I was angry over my entire involvement.

Part of me wanted back the time, energy and sacrifice that I put in to working on these cases.  It’s hard to explain to anyone how having a supernatural experience can change your life.  But this one was very negative.  It was exactly like touching a hot stove; the burn marks and pain remain with you for quite some time afterwards.  There came a point where I felt I didn’t have anyone to turn to for council or advice.

I later discovered that there was a small group of individuals within the religious community that were very passionate against my involvement in the work of demonology.  They condemned the fact that I was allowing non-Christians to be involved in my research society.   They condemned my lifestyle; part of which I understood because the thought of college students being involved in religious demonology does not sit well.  Nevertheless, they were very hard on me about it, completely ignoring the fact that the only way I could stop working on demonic cases would be to turn down and abandon the families who approach me for help. They condemned my criticisms of the Church, even though none of them ever presented a defense or explanation against my concerns; they simply condemned me on the principle that I was questioning the practices of the Church.  The frustration became exhausting.

This is where I was when I wrote, “Whom Shall I Send?”  I’m still in some of the same predicaments that I addressed in that editorial.  But my viewpoints and understanding of things have aged and settled.

I began working with Lorraine Warren shortly after writing that editorial.  We began to talk about my frustrations about the Church.  I remember her being very clear and commanding with the way she said the following: “Listen to me very carefully, Ryan.  You must never let any priest nor the institution itself ever discourage your relationship with God.  All priests are human and they make mistakes.”

I asked if she and her late husband, Ed, ever had complications when working with the Church on demonic cases.  Without missing a beat she responded, “all the time.”  She explained that it never stopped her from respecting priests as a whole nor did it ever stop her from doing “the work.”

I later spoke with a priest who was aware of my frustrations as well as the warnings against me from a few religious clergy.  He said to me, “I have heard their complaints and I still choose to work with you.  Isn’t that proof enough that not every priest chooses to judge before giving you a fair chance?”

I didn’t know how to respond so I didn’t say anything.  Looking back on it, I should have just responded with, “yes,” but things are always more complicated when they’re in the moment.  He finished the conversation off by addressing my predicament.  If the only way for me to leave the work of demonology involved me abandoning families who were being tormented, then it seemed obvious to him that I should not stop.  He presented a compromise: don’t go looking for demonic cases, but never turn down a demonic case, either.  If at all possible, pass the case over to clergy once I am able to reasonably rule out natural explanations.  Lastly, do not take the resistance of religious clergy personally.  If my goal is about helping families, then I should focus on that and not let personal feelings get in the way.

I decided to let this be my practice.

Over the past year, I have needed religious intervention on about half a dozen cases.  I have been able to connect every one of these clients with clergy within their religious beliefs.  The majority of them have been Catholic, and I am happy to say that I have found willing priests to take on the burden of helping these families.

Some of the clients are still struggling, but they at least have a support system to help them weather the storm.

As for me, I suppose there will always be a small community of religious people who disagree with my work and practices.  But thankfully, they have never interfered with my intentions of trying to get help to my clients.

I have tried to confess to a few priests about the work and struggles that I go through, and unfortunately I have still met resistance.  There are still many priests out there who are uncomfortable and admittedly frightened about doing this work.  Even sadder, some priests do not believe in demonic attack.  So, I still have personal struggles to deal with, but I pray.  I also have the comfort of talking to people like Lorraine, who’s been doing this work for decades.

My goal is to continue to help as many people who come forward as possible.  I will go where I’m meant to go.  I am Christian, so I believe in the power of Christ, the Resurrection and the ultimate triumph of good versus evil.  Although I will continue working on demonic cases that I am called in to, I’m also in my mid-twenties, and I’ve discovered that there’s a whole life out there for me that doesn’t have anything to do with evil spirits or annoying demons who claim to be following me.

Thank you to the people who helped me, supported me and encouraged my spiritual growth over the past few years.  You know who you are.  One day, perhaps, I will fully tell our story.  And what a story it will be.